Mindset matters during labour and birth

Mindset matters during labour and birth

During labour your mind responds similarly to when you begin a new workout or physical activity. In the beginning it feels difficult and you start an inner dialogue around whether you think you can last the entire time. In that moment it feels like it will always be this tough. Perhaps you tense up, you allow your mind to go elsewhere and start to rationalize the idea of leaving this discomfort. RIGHT HERE is where your mindset can have a massive impact on your experience and endurance, physically and emotionally. 

If you say to yourself “you can do this!”, “you are strong!”, “you were meant to do this!” You just might find that it gets easier. You get used to it. You find a rhythm or a ritual. As a doula I see this in clients in early labour when their bodies are just starting to get used to labour as well as anytime there is an increase in intensity; often just as active labour is starting or during transition (8cm to 10cm). It’s not easy for you to change your mindset on your own so discuss this with your care team and communicate ways they can encourage and support you. Even people who have done a lot of preparation or have birthed before doubt themselves at some point during labour. 

Here are just a few ways you can practice a positive mindset before the intensity of labour begins:

  1. Reflect on a time when you felt challenged physically or mentally in your life. How did you get through it? Were you surprised that you did? What did you learn about yourself through that experience?
  2. Practice mindfulness every day and notice your thoughts when you are in uncomfortable situations. What happens in your body? Where do your thoughts go? What changes can you do to make the moment more comfortable for you? 
  3. Learn about birth. Learn what to expect to help with any anxieties, concerns or doubts. When your mind has an idea what to expect it is easier to manage when you get to that point. With labour and birth it is difficult to practice or anticipate exactly how it will feel but even a small amount of understanding can make a difference. 
  4. Prepare your birth team. Speak to them about what you need to have a positive mindset. That might include learning your non-verbal cues and discussing how you will communicate in the moment. Giving them some phrases, strategies or techniques to help you through the difficult times and help you to come back to your ideal mindset, over and over again!

So just like that tough workout when you want to quit, give up and get back to being more comfortable labour can force you to face challenging moments that, with proper support and preparation, can leave you feeling strong and confident as you transition to parenthood. 

The Value of a birth DOULA

The Value of a birth DOULA

I have heard varying reactions to what I charge. Everything from “Wow, that seems like a lot of money” to “Really that is it for all that you do?”.

If you are a numbers person you might sit down with your calculator and attach a value to to the tasks that we would do for you when deciding whether or not to hire a doula. I could argue that some ways we support might be impossible to attach a numerical value but you could try. We know that each individual values things differently. One person might feel that their gender reveal party is more important to them than the outcome of their birth and another might feel differently. Here are a few of the ways that we support our clients;

  • On-going availability throughout pregnancy for resources, questions, holding space for your experiences.
  • Personalized birth and postpartum planning. Everything from knowing what to expect at your birthing location, how to advocate, comfort measures, strategies to thrive once baby is here and anything else that YOU need support with. This is VERY different from reading blogs and books. This is for you and your family and addresses your needs and wants. We come to your home and spend roughly 3-4 hours with you. Plus time on calls, answering emails and texts. 
  • Being on-call for you from approximately 37 weeks until you have your baby. This means that we organize our lives so that when labour starts we are there for you virtually and then in-person. This is challenging and requires a lot of effort. In some cases, our lives are put on hold. We don’t know with certainty when we will be needed so we are constantly checking in and ensuring that you feel supported throughout.
  • In-person support for you and your partner from the time that you need us until several hours after birth. This is often the part that people attach value. They wonder “how long do I think I will be in labour for” and divide our fees by this number of hours. But this is not reality. This is when we are completely dedicated to you. All other meetings, visits, family responsibilities are on hold for us and we are there for you. 
  • Since births usually require us to be awake and alert through the night, it can some times take us days to recover. More cancelled events for us in the hopes that we get enough rest before our next client goes into labour or that we are needed for someone else. 
  • During the postpartum time we are there for you to reassure you, answer questions and do follow up visits. There aren’t many alternatives for this type of support and people tend to underestimate how challenging this time is and how important it would be to having someone like a doula on your team. 

Doulas are almost always independent contractions who are self-employed. We have various operating costs like website, insurance, gas, mileage, etc. And we have less obvious costs like certifications, trainings, paying the employer portion of our CPP. If we cannot pay for these items then we can’t continue operating as a doula. 

So, yes you can sit down with your calculator and figure out how much you value birth doula support. OR, you can think about how it would feel to have ALL of this support, feel that you were taken care of throughout the most important time of your life, have someone with you for immediate chest feeding help (very rare!) and then reflect on how much that is worth to you. 

Virtual Doula Services

Virtual Doula Services

Covid-19 has brought challenges to our health care system that are affecting pregnant and birthing people and their families. Stress and anxiety levels are high as due dates near and the uncertainty of the birthing space and new support people policies are taking effect. Doulas have always been a recommended addition to support birthing people and their partners and evidence shows they have only positive outcomes during birth and the postpartum period. Perhaps they are needed the most at this time! However, most hospitals are limiting patients to one support person and for most that is their partner. We are uncertain how long this might last but doulas understand the importance of these limitations to help flatten the curve.

Doulas, like myself, are turning to technology to support their clients. Knowledge is power! And doulas excel at offering their clients the most up-to-date, evidence-based support. Knowing what to expect in labour, comfort measures, options in hospital, your right to consent and the importance of advocating for yourself will give you peace of mind while you birth with your partner at home and in your birthing suite.

What is included in virtual doula support?

I am offering multipe virtual meetings at your convenience to prepare you and your family.

I am available any time via email, text, and video call to help you work through your ideas, thoughts and feelings while providing you with the latest research and policies at your local hospital.

Then while you labour I am available around the clock for messages or video chats to guide you along the way.

Once you are home, I will continue our virtual support to assist you with infant care, feeding and sleeping tips, and to give you more confidence as you navigate life as new parents.

Call, text or email me if you wish to discuss further or receive a copy of my rates. At this time, I am offering my rates on a sliding scale so if you have been financially impacted by this pandemic I am open to considering a lower rate.

I am here to support as many families as I can and ensure that this magical time in your lives stays magical!

Keep well, Angela

cell: 905-465-5924

email: angela.marie.jackson@hotmail.com

How to find the right doula for you!

How to find the right doula for you!

Perhaps you have done some research or spoken to friends and family who have used a doula for their birth and you are now convinced that having doula support is right for you and your partner. Now what?! Maybe you have googled ‘Birth doula near me’ and don’t know where to start. Here are some tips to help you find the doula that is the best fit for you.

Start by making a list of the qualities you are looking for in your doula in order of priority. For example; experience, knowledge, friendly, philosophies, etc. This list should be fluid as you may find once you start interviewing, some of the qualities you initially thought were the most important suddenly are not. 

Ask around for referrals. Ask friends, co-workers, family members or other trusted individuals who have first hand experience with a doula in your community. This is a great place to start, however, the qualities that were most important to them may not be the same for you. Not every doula is right for every person, so know that you will have to make a decision based on who is right for you. 

Save time by searching online. If you have some leads or do not have any leads, the internet can be a massive time saver. Most doulas have websites or social media pages. Check them out. Read their content. Does it resonate with you? If you find their words speak to you then maybe it’s time to follow up with an email. 

Are you price sensitive? If so, it might make sense to ask for rates upfront that way if a doula’s rates are out of reach for you, save your time and theirs by continuing your search. Keep in mind that some doulas offer their rates on a sliding scale which means they are open to negotiating a lower rate (not everyone is comfortable doing this). Depending on the area that you live in you can expect to pay between 700-1300 for a birth doula. Doulas who are still certifying generally charge a bit less than those who have graduated so that could be an option as well. 

Set up some interviews. Most doulas offer a complimentary in person or phone call interview to see if there is a mutual fit. If you have a partner they should also participate in this interview. This is your opportunity to ask the questions that matter to you and get a general feel if there is a good connection. Recently I was asked during one of these interviews which qualities I thought were most important in finding the right doula. My answer was ‘CONNECTION’! Birth is such an intimate time and you want to feel comfortable and supported by your doula. Go with your intuition. You may find that even though a doula may not have a ton of years of experience, she might make you feel warm and taken care of and be the right fit for you. 

Us doulas recognize that we are not always the best fit for each person, do not feel bad if you have to keep looking. It’s best to let those that you interview know as soon as possible that you have decided not to hire them. Once you have found the doula for your unique birth team you will know! Best of luck with your search!