Category Archives: kids

My son’s birth

Posted by Jul 12, 2019 Birth, Burlington Doula, Doula, Happiness, health, kids, motherhood, Oakville, Oakville Doula, parenthood, parenting, Pregnancy, Prenatal Yoga Leave a Comment
My son’s birth

Today is my son’s 10th birthday. It feels surreal that ten years has passed so quickly. It seems like just yesterday we welcomed him. I have decided to share his birth story to honour this day.

It was 2009 and I was due on July 9th. It was hot, I was big (baby was estimated to be a full pound bigger than my first) and my midwife kept saying she thought I would go early. So when my due date came and went I was feeling like he was never going to come. I had an active 23 month old daughter so laying around in a cool, air conditioned home wasn’t really an option. At two days overdue we decided to head to a local, outdoor pool to enjoy a sunny, summer day. I remember how wonderful it was to swim and see my child and my husband enjoying themselves. I was cool and weightless in the water and I felt my entire body relax as I surrendered to the fact that this baby was going to come when he was ready to do so. We had a lovely bbq dinner at home and we all crashed in our family bed with that summertime satisfied feeling after being outdoors.

I slept very well that night. At 6am on July 12th I woke up suddenly and noticed that I felt different. I could feel some faint contractions and I thought to myself….my baby boy is coming today. I showered and washed my hair knowing it might be the last time for a while. Then we simply went about our day. We went for a walk on the trails by our home, played in the backyard, I polished my appliances and tidied the house between surges. Then in the heat of the afternoon I closed the curtains and made the house dark. In between rushes I laid on the couch and slept. While my daughter was napping my husband asked if we should call our midwife. I (naively) said “no, I’m good. Let’s wait before we bug her.” I then got into a cool tub of water as the contractions were getting much more intense. My in-laws came to pick up my daughter and in that moment I felt so much sadness. I asked to see her before she left and I hugged her so tight and had a bit of a cry. A feeling I can only describe now as grief of the loss of our family unit as I knew it. Little did I know then how great things would become as a family of four. She was fine and just said, “bye, bye Mommy!”.

I hadn’t yet timed my contractions as I was just in the moment all day. My middle sister arrived at our house as planned because she wanted to be at my birth. She timed them for me and declared that they were less than two minutes apart! Out of the tub I went to dry off and call my midwife. During our phone chat I had a couple of surges and she thought that by the sound of my voice we had time so she would come and see me in an hour. She advised me to hop in the shower. I did, but 2 minutes in I got out and said I could feel his head pressing down on my cervix. We called her back and found out she lived on the east side of the hospital whereas we were on the west side. She gave my husband the option of calling 911 if he saw the head emerge or drive me to the hospital as fast as he could….which he did. So transition phase was in the car, which was not pleasant but only for 10 minutes. He dropped us off at the door and I waddled in holding my hands between my legs and stopping often when things got intense. I was whisked into a room, laid on the bed and was told by a nurse (my midwife hadn’t arrived yet) that I was 9 1/2 cm. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that! When my midwife arrived she told me it would be best to break my water and then baby would be born soon after. Problem was my husband wasn’t back from parking the car and checking me in. So we waited….more contractions…it seemed like forever. Then when he got back (he’s going to kill me for saying this) he needed time to answer nature’s call, so I waited some more. Then waters were ruptured, I pushed about 4-5 times and Oliver was born! He came out so quickly that he wasn’t breathing, no sound, purple baby. His cord was clamped and cut and he was taken to be suctioned. My husband felt uneasy but for some reason I was still calm. Within a few minutes he was crying softly on my chest. He was the most amazing thing to me and I felt so in love. He started to show signs he wanted to nurse, he latched right away and nursed for 30 minutes each side while I ate the most delicious toasted Tim Horton’s bagel with a tea (actually it was just the usual food from Timmie’s but after birth everything tastes amazingly good). We looked at the clock and figured that if we went home right away our daughter could meet her little brother before her 8pm bed time. Everything went well so my midwife discharged me less than an hour and a half after he was born. I was so excited to sleep in my own bed.

It was just such a peaceful and enjoyable day which ended in my little family all being together in our home. I slept with my son that night while my daughter slept with my husband. I had a beautiful breakfast in bed and my midwife was there at 8am to check on me and baby Ollie. I feel so much joy and love thinking back to those days. How is it that my little man is 10?!

Dear Motherless Mom-to-be, I SEE YOU. Love, a Birth and Postpartum Doula

Posted by Jan 17, 2019 Birth, Doula, Happiness, health, kids, motherhood, parenthood, parenting, passion, Pregnancy , , , , , Leave a Comment
Dear Motherless Mom-to-be, I SEE YOU. Love, a Birth and Postpartum Doula

At the age of 26 I was in a committed relationship, living abroad with a stable career and dreaming about someday soon becoming a mother. Then I lost my own mother to cancer. All of a sudden the thought of navigating the unchartered territory of parenting seemed much less appealing. Like many other women, my mom was the one I reached out to when I doubted myself, when I needed reassurance and advice or just someone to listen to my nonsense. I knew raising a child without my mother around was going to be tough but I thought it was going to be tough mostly because she wouldn’t be there to enjoy her grandchild. It was so much harder than I imagined.

In her book “Motherless Daughters”, Hope Edelmen writes:
“A husband can offer emotional support and a father a sense of family, but birthing is the business of women….This verbal legacy that passes from mother to daughter, and which daughters rely on for comparison and guidance. When the mother-daughter relationship is going well, the daughter depends on her mother to help her build self-confidence, asking for stories about her birth and early childhood and seeking encouragement that she can handle motherhood’s demands.”

Before I became pregnant I never thought to ask my mother about her pregnancy with me or what my birth was like. I remember the odd mention of it around my birthday but once I was having my own experience I had so many questions that only she would have been able to answer. I struggled with that emptiness. I was fortunate to have a really great pregnancy with no complications and very little discomforts but I can imagine that other motherless daughters who are experiencing difficulties might struggle with this even more. Perhaps it was my easy pregnancy pay-back when I had a colicky newborn for eight weeks. The early challenges with breastfeeding, a bout of thrush and a baby that needed constant holding, rocking and nursing meant that I had a difficult time not knowing what to do and felt it I had to really work hard at trusting my own instincts without my mom to consult.

Edelmen writes; “Pregnancy and the postpartum period can be bittersweet times for the motherless daughter, who feels closer to her mother as she becomes one but also feels an intense sadness as she confronts her loss again. As a milestone event in a woman’s life, childbirth-particularly with a first child-commonly triggers a new cycle of mourning for the lost mother, involving intense feelings of grief, sadness, anger or despair. The woman mourns not only the loss of her mother’s advice and support but also the loss of a grandmother for her child.”

Virtually no one can replace the emptiness of not having your mother during the prenatal and postpartum experience. I do believe that having a doula is key to making this transition a beautiful time when one can honour their mother and feel her closeness again. Perhaps grief can be felt in a more peaceful way with fond memories. It is my opinion that no one needs a doula more than a motherless daughter. If this is you PLEASE reach out to me. I feel your pain and I want you to know that you are not alone….I SEE YOU! xo

Oh Baby it’s cold outside! – How to entertain a toddler at home.

Posted by Jan 10, 2019 adventure, Burlington, Doula, fitness, Happiness, health, kids, motherhood, Oakville, parenthood, parenting, workout, yoga Leave a Comment

Well, what can we expect from a Canadian winter right?! Truth is we have been lucky this season so far with some mild temps and now the cold, frigid winter wind is here. When my kids were much younger there were definitely cold days when I didn’t want to take them far. We would hunker down and make the best of our time together indoors. Don’t get me wrong…I am all for bundling up and heading outside for some outdoor adventures but when the cold gets to you and those cheeks turn rosy red it’s time to head back in to the warmth.

Here are my 5 favourite things to do with the kiddos at home on a frosty day;

  1. Play dress up! Kind of like a ‘Choose your own adventure’. If you don’t already have a Tickle trunk of your own choose some items from their closets and let their imaginations do the rest. Then you can play pretend on where you are going. This was always one of our go-to’s.
  2. Build a couch fort. Grab those cushions and blankets and build away! Then maybe you can do some reading or colouring inside your fort. My kids would some times even take a nap in there because it felt cozy and safe and they made it themselves.
  3. Do a craft, make some art. Let their creative minds roam. Pinterest is always a great resource if you need some ideas.
  4. Do some exercise together! I like Cosmic kids on Youtube for some storytelling yoga time. You don’t need any fancy equipment and you can even do it in your jammies!
  5. Take a nap! We used to love family naps in my bed. I’m not going to lie, it some times took over an hour to get everyone to sleep but when it happened it felt amazing! Cold outside and warm in bed..perfect time to catch up on sleep.

So bundle up and head out to the park for some playtime fun and when the shivers get you then head home with no guilt and have some fun with your littles. That cold, brisk air is sure to tire out even the most energetic one. These moments are fleeting so enjoy!

The Busy Mom’s Guide to Getting Fit and Strong

Posted by Jan 7, 2019 Doula, fitness, health, kids, motherhood, new year's resolutions, Oakville, parenthood, parenting, passion, Prenatal Yoga, sports, workout, yoga , Leave a Comment
The Busy Mom’s Guide to Getting Fit and Strong

A new year is upon us and many see this as an opportunity to make or improve on some healthy habits. I know I do! I am a mom of two busy kids; an eleven year old daughter and a nine year old son. Before they were born I was very active playing rugby at an amateur level and hitting the gym 5-7 days a week. I remember saying to my husband that once the kids were born I wasn’t going to make excuses not to maintain this pace….Wow, was I in for a surprise! The truth is that once you become a parent all of your priorities change and it becomes challenging to find time for yourself when your little humans need a lot of your time and attention. I hope this guide gives you some ideas and motivation for yourself but I am also available if you want to brainstorm for your personal situation.

First of all, let’s just take a moment to acknowledge your body the way it is today in all of its wonder and glory. You made a baby (or babies) and for that you should be proud! We can still love our bodies and be grateful for all that they have done yet want to become stronger and fitter. Be weary of quick fixes or too-good-to-be-true solutions. This stuff is hard work and takes dedication to make every day changes, but so worth it for your health and the health and happiness of your family. From a very young age I remember engaging in active pursuits with my parents and watching them play sports. This has stayed with me over the years and I already see it impacting my children. Never feel guilty for wanting to spend time working on yourself Momma!

Over the last ten years my exercise regime has changed and evolved based on many factors, but primarily the needs of my children. So I’ve broken this guide down by years to help you.

IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING BIRTH

Every woman and every birth (even by the same woman!) is so different. Immediately after birth the only thing you should be concerned about is healing and bonding with your baby. Slow things down and enjoy this time. There will be plenty of time later to think about workouts. The best workout or “workin” you can do at this stage is deep belly breathing, it helps to reduce stress, aids in milk production, and tones your abdominals. The other “exercise” that is helpful at this stage is Kegels. Once you have been given the green light by your midwife or doctor then you can consider incorporating more. I would also recommend getting seen by a physiotherapist that specializes in postnatal core rehab to rule out diastasis recti (abdominal separation), prolapse, or pelvic floor issues.

FIRST YEAR AFTER BIRTH

Maternity leave is a great time to start some healthy habits because you have taken on the most important role of your life; Mom! First and foremost, nutrition is key in all stages of life. Start or maintain healthy eating habits now to feel your best. There are so many fitness options these days for new moms in most communities and at home. There are a lot of gyms that have childminding if you feel comfortable leaving your baby. However, if you do not there is a plethora of Mom and Baby classes that are mother-centered but allow baby to be in a carrier or close by so that you can stop if needed to attend to your baby. While at home programs might be convenient, they may leave you feeling isolated, lonely and unmotivated. Perhaps a combination of classes and at home workouts is the best option for you. Classes are great because you get to meet other moms and they are tailored to the postpartum body. If the weather is nice grab a friend and take baby out for a stroll. Mom and baby yoga, mom and baby fitness, dance classes, barre, aqua-fit….the choices are endless. I enjoyed mom and baby yoga, salsa babies and walks outside (even in very cold temps) with my first baby. When I was tired from frequent waking at night or not eating properly, I let myself rest. This is very important so give yourself time to get back at it gradually. Try different classes to find the right combination for you. A trainer that you connect with, class times and location that work best, and costs are all factors to consider. See below for my classes west of the GTA.

BACK TO WORK: THE TODDLER YEARS

This was by far the most difficult time for me and I can honestly say that after my first I struggled for a while to find the right balance. Long working hours and commutes make it very difficult to prioritize yourself. Time with your toddler seems so precious that you can’t bear to leave them.

Here are some ideas:

6am workouts! I know that sounds painful but I can guarantee if you do this consistently you will be astounded at how good you feel for the rest of the day. It’s out of the way and it frees up time in the evening to be with your children.

Noon workouts! Take time on your lunch hour to workout, find a gym close to your place of employment and I guarantee this will become a regular part of your day.

Good news is toddlers need a lot of sleep and usually go to bed quite early. If you have enough energy an 8pm class might be the ticket for you. Then on your days home take your children out for a walk or to play at the park, get active with them when you can so that they see how important it is. Pushing a child on a swing or chasing them around a park IS a workout!

THE SCHOOL AGE YEARS

Once when my kids were in the baby/toddler stage another mom warned me that life would only get busier once my kids were slightly older and involved in extra-curricular activities. I didn’t believe her but now that they are I totally get it. Evenings and weekends are spent taxiing and carpooling all over the city for their sports and activities. I love that they are active and involved but it consumes a lot of time. So now how do you fit in a workout?

When my kids could play a little more independently at the park I would do a workout near them. I would plan out my exercises and reps and do my burpees, squats etc at the playground. Once in a while I would be needed to push a swing then I would get back to it.

Running with little ones in a stroller or chariot, this is a tough one but everyone wins!

6am’s are a good option. I do yoga in my home in the early mornings and it’s not always peaceful. My son is an early riser so some times he cuddles on my blankets and bolsters while I finish my practice but it’s ok, at least I got some in (I figure this is just part of the Mom life and I get savasana with a little-man cuddle).

Noon workouts again are great because it frees up your evenings to spend with the kids doing homework or taking them to their activities. If you can manage it why not strap on your runners for a jog or head to the gym while they are doing their sports. I see so many parents scrolling through their phones or playing Candy Crush when they could use that time more wisely. My daughter’s dance lessons become a run around the neighbourhood for me during warm weather or a weight session at my gym closeby. Sure I’m sweaty when I pick her up but the endorphins feel amazing. Plan activities you can do as a family like skiing, skating or biking. Head to the park and chase a ball. Getting active as a family is wonderful on so many levels!

AFTER PRIMARY SCHOOL WHEN YOUR KIDS DON’T WANT TO BE AROUND YOU MUCH (LOL)

Ok so I don’t have any experience with this stage yet. I do envy the other Moms at my gym who are at this stage and get more workouts in during the week than I do, but I figure these years are so precious and my time will come. I know it seems daunting at times when there is so much to accomplish during the day. Lifestyle changes take time and perseverance but feeling strong physically is so important as a Mom to keep you balanced emotionally. Go to bed early, eat well, drink lots of water and plan those workouts in advance. Not only will you see major changes in yourself but those kiddos of yours will thank you one day! Best of luck Mommas and if you need support and motivation please reach out, we are here to support one another! -Namaste